Monday, January 31, 2011

Of all the things to cry over...

A ring. My engagement ring. Did I loose it? No. Chewed up in the garbage disposal? Flushed down the toilet? Bartered it for yarn? No. I can't, because I can't pick one out!!

And yes, I'm crying over it. Full blown tears. I could no sooner pick a favorite star in the heaven than choose. They are all lovely. I would love any of them, provided that they come with the same man attached.

I do not care what it costs, so I happen to like an inexpensive stone. Is that really so bad? How much money he spends on me does not tell me how much he loves me. I understand that he wants it to be a perfect ring of my dreams. But here is the truth, in 5-10 years we women won't feel the same way about a shiny and a hunk of metal but we will love the man more than when he gave it to us. It's the thought and surprise behind it. In the end, it's a crystalline structure suspended by metallic fastenings over a wearable structure.

It is a symbol that I belong to one man, that he has my heart and that he belongs to me, and I have his heart. But that is all it is. Even with out it, that connection is there, and THAT is what I care about. I feel that I am letting my sweetie down by not being able to decide. I am sitting here in tears crying, diamond or sapphire? Setting?

He has a friend's friend named Roci in the diamond district of NY. I am getting very close to driving up there to tell him to shut the hell up. He wants to sell a diamond. That is what he does. He does not carry emeralds and sapphires, those aren't his trade, but he could. But really, shouldn't you get your girl a diamond? "It's more bang for your buck!" I'll give you bang, buddy. You know what? I don't care about your buck!

I don't plan on selling it. I plan on wearing it until someone pries it off my cold, dead lifeless body to pass it on to a new generation in the family. What makes a heirloom? One that I wear even if it has a chip of glass in it. Because it is the love and the story behind it that makes it special, not it's monetary worth.

I'll cry a little more. Eat some chocolate ice cream, and flip a coin. Maybe I'll make a mini-ball of cashmere lace weight and affix it to a ring and soak it in varnish. The ultimate knitter's engagement ring!


  1. If you want something that isn't a diamond, check out Blye's Jewelers. Danny Blye always have estate pieces that are beautiful. He doesn't have a website but here is the Yelp link.

    I was the same way when John and I picked out my engagement ring. I wanted amethyst - my birth stone. I think, all in all, the ring cost under $400.

  2. Who cares if it doesn't cost a lot? Who cares if it's not a diamond? You are right, it's what the ring represents that matters.
    If you can't decide, tell Nick to pick one out, because you know you'll love it no matter what.

  3. I found your page through Ravelry, so while you don't know me, I know exactly what you are going through. When my husband asked me what engagement ring I would want, the one I fell in love with was a lab created emerald that cost all of $99. Initially, he refused to buy it; said it was too cheap and he didnt want to symbolize our love with a cheap ring. I was upset because I really loved the ring. I basically explained to him what you said, about the ring not mattering in the long run and that it was the one I really wanted, and the whole concept of putting us in debt to start our marriage to buy some ridiculous diamond that I didnt even want was absurd. He came around eventually and I got the $99 ring.

    Six years later, I cannot even wear it because I lost a lot of weight. The ring sits in my jewelry box, much loved but unworn, and my marriage is stronger than ever.

    Good luck choosing your ring and I hope your partner comes to understand what is really important.

    Best wishes,
    Kim (Richmond, VA)